Today, I ventured forth on a career change.
I decided to keep the Globetrotter handle, as Work2minutesfromhometrotter is too big a log-in name.
Anyway, this came about as my mate, who has a wonderful bar/restuarant, is giving in to the pressures of government licence demands, new staff licencing policy, Setanta sports and Sky Sports massive price increases, has decided that there is far too much cash going out in the hospitality business than coming in and decided he would rather lead a more sedate life.
We have taken up residence in a workshop in the quaint portside village of Methil.
It's a confusing place, especially when Fathers Day comes around, with lots of lost little souls tripping the streets with undelivered cards in their hands.
It's the sort of place where 25 year old girls answer to Granny and natural fathers are harder to track down than Bin Laden.
Anyway, i digress.
The first job for the new place is a complete re-wire, as the local 'yoofs' have practiced their recycling skills by entering the premises under cover of darkness and liberating all items, including those bolted down, and consisting of every socket, switch and all ring main 3 core cable. What is the intended desination of these much sought-after goodies I wonder?
I've never yet been in a pub and been offered second-hand wire. Come to think of it, I've never even been tempted with a second hand car radio.
Still, we have installed a state of the art security system. This involved the copious use of 8x4 sheets of 1/2" plywood and 4" screws, to barricade the doors and windows. The pristine wood will also provided a much needed clean canvas for the more artistic spray painters in the vicinity, so Wee Tam, who is evidently in love with Sharon (but watch this space), Billy, from Young Team No. 1, and the person who tags with that big red symbol..could it be the artiste formally known as Prince, we look forward to your attentions.
We thought of getting a guard dog, but even Pit Bull terriers never venture forth around here, unless in pairs and a blunt instrument hidden in the folds of their collars.
I don't think we'll get Norwich Union to do our contents insurance either.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Weather Report, B and Q
Hmm, lets envisage the scenario.
You're 61 years old, up in lovely Braemar on hols in January, huddled in the bar of the Fife Arms Hotel, (which is not in Fife incidently, but a rather nice watering hole none-the-less), it's pissing with rain/sleet/snow and gusting 50 m.p.h. and worse to follow according to the news.
What do you reckon tomorrows plans should be? Nice breakfast followed by a trip to the pond to feed the ducks, a warm bowl of broth at the heritage centre restuarant, return to the Arms for a soothing Drambuie and a game of cribbage?
No, lets go climb a bloody mountain. . Why oh why do they do it.
50 rescuers later, oh, and a dog, our heroic 51 year old was eventualy retrieved, by the dog as it happens.
What cost stupidity
I wonder, if he had been entitled to a 10% discount (due in 4 years time), at his local DIY store, he may have stayed at home and built a bookcase instead.
He did however get a free helicopter jaunt...
All credit to the rescue teams who have to combat against stupidity year after year.
You're 61 years old, up in lovely Braemar on hols in January, huddled in the bar of the Fife Arms Hotel, (which is not in Fife incidently, but a rather nice watering hole none-the-less), it's pissing with rain/sleet/snow and gusting 50 m.p.h. and worse to follow according to the news.
What do you reckon tomorrows plans should be? Nice breakfast followed by a trip to the pond to feed the ducks, a warm bowl of broth at the heritage centre restuarant, return to the Arms for a soothing Drambuie and a game of cribbage?
No, lets go climb a bloody mountain. . Why oh why do they do it.
50 rescuers later, oh, and a dog, our heroic 51 year old was eventualy retrieved, by the dog as it happens.
What cost stupidity
I wonder, if he had been entitled to a 10% discount (due in 4 years time), at his local DIY store, he may have stayed at home and built a bookcase instead.
He did however get a free helicopter jaunt...
All credit to the rescue teams who have to combat against stupidity year after year.
Trouble at'mill'o'B and Q
Being male and unable to remember birthdays, the names of my children and what i had for dinner 2 days ago, I have just spent the past three hours trying to remember my password for this site. After being re-directed to the new 'Googlie' signy ony thingy...here I am. Not looking forward to this afternoons outing. According to the BBC, we here in the Kingdom of Fife are to have snow 'flurries', where in actual fact, it's a white-out and the Tay bridge is closed.
I'm about to venture forth to my local B&Q store, where I will embark on a battle againt ageism.
My point is as follows.
If i go shopping with mum, who is 69 and quite happily living in sheltered accomodation, and she decides that a few certain items will make her life all the richer, i.e. the purchase of a thickness planer, table saw, bench press drill and belt sander, she is entitled to parking within spitting distance of the store entrance, ( I have no problem with that), and 10% off her purchases, as she can then shoot off home and do her drilling, sanding and planing, content in the knowledge she has saved herself 45 quid, which she can put towards treatment for her arthirtic ridden hands.
Now my point is, if these DIY stores were to advertise this 'deal' the other way round, and promote, 10% extra to be paid by all under 65's, there would be an uproar...wouldn't there?
Anyway, I have now returned from my jaunt, battle un-fought, as the store never had any of the above tools in stock anyway. What to do with all my pent up and un-used adrenaline now?
I'm about to venture forth to my local B&Q store, where I will embark on a battle againt ageism.
My point is as follows.
If i go shopping with mum, who is 69 and quite happily living in sheltered accomodation, and she decides that a few certain items will make her life all the richer, i.e. the purchase of a thickness planer, table saw, bench press drill and belt sander, she is entitled to parking within spitting distance of the store entrance, ( I have no problem with that), and 10% off her purchases, as she can then shoot off home and do her drilling, sanding and planing, content in the knowledge she has saved herself 45 quid, which she can put towards treatment for her arthirtic ridden hands.
Now my point is, if these DIY stores were to advertise this 'deal' the other way round, and promote, 10% extra to be paid by all under 65's, there would be an uproar...wouldn't there?
Anyway, I have now returned from my jaunt, battle un-fought, as the store never had any of the above tools in stock anyway. What to do with all my pent up and un-used adrenaline now?
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The X Factor
Should this programme which passes as entertainment be sponsored by Kleenex?? Rarely have I seen so much eye wetting in one go.
Now, being a bit of a strummer myself, I have never felt that I was 'born to do this' nor been reduced to tears by the fact that anyone has brought up my shortcomings in the vocal department, which due to the wonderful world of karaoke, most people seem to have an opinion on nowadays.
Now, who are these 'friends' of the hopefuls who suggest that Dumpy Dora or Spotty Sid really have what it takes to storm the entertainment scene. Would you ask for their opinion on anything?
Did anyone other than me cringe when seeing a primary school teacher wanting to win (for her class of 6 year olds)?
What a load of bollox. Methinks fame and riches were somewhere in her mind plus getting the hell out of the job which she so loves, or will she continue teaching and be a part-time diva during Easter and summer hols and donate the cash from her record sales to enhance the kids learning experience... Okay, whinge over... (And yes I know there is an off button for the TV, but hey, my nephew watches the prog)
Norwich Union
Yesterday, two things of note happened. The first, is Scotland thrashed the Ukranians, much of which I needed to re-view this morning as due to the memory draining effects of numerous beers, I seem to have little recall of the afternoons festivities. This was the good part.
The bad was a renewal notice from Norwich Union for my dearly departed Transit Van. Should anyone from Norwich Union stumble upon this site, I'm the one that you wouldn't cough up on when my vehicle had a slight mishap. Well okay, agreed it wasn't exactly slight. So, I pass on this snippet of knowledge. Under no circumstances lend your vehicle to a member of the Sri Lankan government whilst he is being actively targetted for assasination by the Tamil Tigers, as N.W. take a very dim view of this, (and yes, it's in the small print under civil wars). Also the vehicle inspector would have had to negotiate his/her way through swamp and jungle to assess the damage, which primarily consisted of a few magazine clips spewed forth from an AK47.
So, how did this van find it's way to Sri Lanka. This is primarily the fault of the Spanish police, as due to the fact I was attempting to smuggle drugs into Spain via Gibralter, (for drugs, read aspirin, bandages, antiseptics etc) which was to be shipped to Lanka post Tsunami, I was refused re-entry to get back home to Costa del Crime, therefore my only options were to either dump the aid medicines or to ship the 'drugs' complete with Ford packaging on the next available vessel sailing east. The good news is, I have a new van and will be visiting Churchill. 
I wonder, do Norwich Union do house insurance?
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